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Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Lady Swan

Part 3 of the "Legends of After-Earth"

Quick reminder: while Joey is catching fish in the Old City centre … and Honey having the night of her Life … not too far away ...

Looking into her iPod-44 Black-Widow cell phone, Lady Swan, follows the fish slaughtering with disgust. Yes, the quality of the streaming video signal in her swamp is not optimal, bit still, she easily follows the massacre of her disciples with an exponentially growing feel of hate and … above all … DESPAIR!!

All my preparations for nothing! All the energy and time I spent training, no drilling (!!) these floating whales … GONE! I hate this Joey D. Who is this ugly fellow? (Does he have two right hands???). My revenge on him will be extremely cruel …


(Joey ;-)

Monday, May 25, 2009

Bad Day Bad Night

Part 2 of the "Legends of After-Earth"

Bad things never come solo. The absence of my left arm made it impossible for me to do any severe damage to these flying fishes. I think that I accidentally harpooned at least three neighbors (maybe more … one guy even waved to me when he swallowed one of my stainless steel arrows …). That was the moment that I decided to follow another strategy.

The Wallmarket Blood&Flesh&Teeth Bank gave me just enough credits to buy myself one of these fancy nano-cyber-limbs at the BodyShop (including a free installation to my body and a 10% discount ticket for future visits). To be honest, it was a real bargain … who cares that I now have two right hands … they make me extra dangerous and I can … never mind! The new arm still aches but I quickly got used to it.

An underground cab drove me to my secret suburb shelter, I whispered the magical spell to unlock the stone door, unleashed Honey and satisfied its thirst with sixteen gallons of Green Bio Fuel. One last cigarette, very carefully. I polished my famous sword, Ex-Caliber-11, set flame to Honey, and … up we went … downtown … going fishing!


Sunday, May 24, 2009

The Day of The FISH@!

Part 1 of the "Legends of After-Earth"

It so treacherously promised to become a day like any day, people shouting and cursing, sirens and the smell of fire all over town. I woke up with a hammering headache … stupid me, too much AltzheimerSelzer last night … again …! How old should I become to stop drinking this magical stuff? Half awake, half dead, I stumble upon my dog lying in the corner of the kitchen; the poor fellow died of hunger it seems, (sorry old Rambo!). I open my window and throw out my faithful anti-burglar system … hopefully some poor fellow will find him and cook himself and his family a feast meal.
I very carefully try to open some innocent looking cans, bad luck, they all explode in my face … &(*&, … why did I get rid of Doggie? I wipe the blood of my face, swallow some left-over Disasperines, hit myself on the head with a rusted steel pan, cut off my left arm, clean it carefully and bake myself a Dalton-Arm Sis kebab with garlic and tomatoes (I think).Feeling strong again, I dress up, close my front door and go out … almost directly getting decapitated by what? What are these smelling stinkers, floating around in my beloved city?

I quickly go home again to get myself my Terminator Fishing Reel … and SwartzenEgger Harpoon Set …

Joey, one-armed and struggling for his Life with Alien Fish(?)


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Eureka, Kansas, United States

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